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03 December 2016 @ 11:51 pm
This is not politics it's actually a blog post. with dishonored 2 and hitman spoilers.  
I have made a terrible mistake and bought Hitman 2016 for half off.

It's amazing. I love it. I love how little Agent 47 cares about basically everything except killing his targets. I love how deadpan he is in all his ridiculous disguises. I love how the most emotion I've seen him show so far is when Dalia hands him a bottle of cyanide and he goes "Good choice c:"

And I also love how that guy at the end pointed out that he does actually care about Diana and how it's implied he and the Shadow Client used to be close friends when they were small but 47 doesn't remember :c


There's also the fact that the game revolves around murdering people for money, but I... basically do that in every game anyway, so it feels less notable than it should maybe.  The point is that I need favorite characters who are not paid killers. (Allegedly there are a couple previous games about 47 being ashamed about being an assassin, but one is apparently not that good and the other has dated graphics. I WILL INEVITABLY PLAY THEM BOTH LET'S BE HONEST.)

Dishonored 2 came out! My favorite character wasn't in it but it was a lot of fun and had a good story! There were WAAAAY more women than in the last Dishonored and we got to learn more about Delilah! D: Poor girl. Basically, she and Empress Jessamine were half sisters, with Delilah being the illegitimate child. Once while they were playing Jessamine broke something and blamed it on Delilah, and Delilah and her mother were thrown out on the streets to live in poverty.

The sad thing is that this happened while they were kids. Like... kids lie. They blame things on each other. That's what they do. Delilah has no choice but to hate Jessamine (and by extension her daughter Emily, whom you play as), but when you get down to it the fault should lie with the adults who thought being thrown out to die was a suitable punishment for a small child breaking something. It's just that they're all dead by the time Dishonored 2 happens, so that just leaves Emily to bear the brunt of Delilah's pain...

D: You have the option of letting her live out her fantasy of becoming Empress and everyone loving her harmlessly (you stick her in a magical painting. She was going to transpose it onto the real world, but instead she just stays in the painting while the real world goes on without her), which seems like the least she deserves for all the crap she's been through. I MEAN SHE'S A TERRIBLE PERSON WHO HAS DONE TERRIBLE THINGS, but like. Give a woman a break maybe.

ALSO I'M YELLING ABOUT BILLIE. She just wants her assassin dad back. ...Why are all my favorite characters assassins? I can't believe I have a type and it is murderers. Send help.

So yes, that's what I've been up to. Hit up my tumblr for more Hitman jokes. Where did 47 learn to play the drums. How does he know how to do all that yoga. Why does he need to use the bathroom. I have questions.

Oh! One more thing. It's more socially acceptable to post lots of quick, pointless updates on tumblr, so here's my personal updates tag if you're curious. There's... a lot of excited yelling.
Current Mood: bouncyoh yes the bouncy is back