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Yesterday I discovered why I shouldn't take my meds without eating first, and that is because crushing chest and neck pain.  Which lots and lots of water fixed, but it was very unpleasant and interrupted my otherwise delicious dinner, which is sitting in the fridge waiting for me to eat it.

...What's that? You didn't know I was on meds? Oh yeah, that's right, I haven't posted in over a month >_____>

OKAY SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS I got put on a tiny dose of fluoxetine (Prozac) and have since felt SO MUCH BETTER (ie: I feel normal. I'd forgotten what normal felt like!) but lol side effects, including:

loss of appetite
increased anxiety (I HAD A PANIC ATTACK IT WAS AWFUL)
nausea sometimes. I already had problems with this beforehand so I don't know if it's the medicine or me though.

Loss of appetite in particular is pretty irritating because I barely ate in the first place. I think it's gotten better, but I'm still going in to talk to my psychiatrist about it. Because yo, I know I slept too much but now sleep is just not a thing sometimes. ...I had sleep paralysis after trying to get some sleep after my last post, by the way. That was kind of scary.

I am one of two girls in my engineering class, which is discouraging because there's a group evaluation thing at the end of the semester and that means I will inevitably be docked points both because of subconscious discrimination and because literally everyone in the class but me has built their own car. It has gotten better lately! But I still dread that class. weh. Calculus is a lot better.

I fell behind watching Sailor Moon (I AM SO EXCITED TO WATCH VENUS'S INTRODUCTION EPISODE but I haven't been in the mood lately for like a month. Oops) and got into Dwarf Fortress. That is a terrible idea, don't ever do it.

(it's super complicated, has an unintuitive interface, and unless you happen to know the names of the ores that iron and copper come from and how to turn them into steel then you're going to need either the wiki or a geology textbook. But it's really fun, and can be made funner by the tradition of ruling the fortress for a year, then passing the save file to someone else without telling them what's going on, and writing an IC log about what happens.)

I've come to terms with the fact that I have an enormous crush on Thane Krios from Mass Effect. I didn't like him at all at first, because he seemed to me to be altogether too sure of his morality for an assassin >__> Also his face was really uncanny and his voice is super gravelly.  But he was so polite and friendly and gentle and adorable. He's so grateful for everything Shepard does for him, and if he confesses his feelings and she turns him down he's not disappointed or upset at all and continues to support her and never mentions it again. HE'S SO NICE ;__; It eventually overcame everything I didn't like about him. Now I'm trapped >__>

The writers really did wrong by him by only giving him one scene in the third game. No one even acknowledges him, even if he and Shepard are supposedly a couple and he sacrificed his life saving the Councilor (he's sick, he was always dying, everyone knew he'd die in the third game). In fact, literally minutes after his death, you get at least two (possibly four) people trying to ask you out on a date! What the heck, writers 8| That's not how it works for the rest of the romances. An hour previous, all your friends were consoling you on the death of one of your other comrades. The writers even admitted that they literally forgot about him while they were writing the game. Thanks, guys.

I also think they did wrong by Jacob, but I've already talked about that. Ugh. There were so many ways to forcefully end his relationship with Shepard if they absolutely had to, and they did it by making him cheat on her. BIOWARE STOP.

Hopefully I get back into writing so I can add this to the giant pile of things I have to write about.  Oops.
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
21 September 2014 @ 08:30 am
Well, if I haven't fallen asleep by eight in the morning, I'm not likely to ever fall asleep, so JOURNALING.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I've been slightly queasy trying to sleep, too. Knowing me, that's just my eating habits coming back to haunt me.

I, er, got a new sweater. I need a faceless pic of it to post here, which I will get when it's not super-early, but it is adorable and I love it.

I went to my Youtube channels (remember, I have two because of copyright trouble with the first one) and switched the privacy on all my videos to 'unlisted'. If I gave you the link or if there's an embed somewhere on my journal then you should still be able to watch them! My second channel is now Tales of Phantasia: The Vlog, and it'll be Phantasia the Let's Play Channel if I can muster the energy to, uh. Find a decent video editor. No, I still haven't yet.

I was also looking for a bunch of my old Phantasia stuff to post, but I ran out of motivation before that got anywhere, either. Someday.

In the meantime, I am finding other ways to keep myself entertained while my attention span is failing (I totally forgot to respond to your comment about it Faye but YES I also delay getting into new fandoms and watching new stuff because I want to focus on my current stuff. I am the exact same way). Generally nothing holds my attention for long, but I have bursts where I can accomplish something or other-- I made Grand Duchess in the Battle Chateau of Pokemon Y, collected all the starters with [Unknown LJ tag]'s help (THANK), got some money on Flight Rising (I'm saving up for a full set of holiday sprites familiars. I only have three left, but they're the three most hideously expensive!), and I'm waiting for Kerbal Space Program to finish up with Experimentals.

... Not that I'll be able to actually play once the update is released, because I have to wait for my mods to update, too, but by then the hype will be real. Yes.

I discovered that I actually have two shows with bi-weekly releases (? I know bi-annual means twice a year while biennial means once every two years...) on alternating weeks, so that's something! One is of course Sailor Moon and the other is the web animation series RWBY, by Monty Oum. Considering there are six animators, it's really good! Although, you can tell they used their tiny budget on the fight scene animation, and the first season's episodes are only like, five minutes long each... XD But so far every episode of the second season has been at least ten minutes, and mostly fifteen to twenty, so I think they're not as concerned with deadlines anymore, LOL. The voice acting's gotten better, too.

I'M GONNA TRY TO SLEEP AGAIN. I shall see everyone... later! G'night!
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: This Will Be the Day - RWBY
10 September 2014 @ 07:55 pm
College is as bleh as expected. It has been bleh-er than it should be, but that is hopefully me being a poopyface and not class actually being terrible. I DUN WANNA WORK D8

Apparently version .25 of KSP is already in QA? It's not quite experimentals, but that feels ridiculously fast compared to last time! .24 got to experimentals and was pushed back, though, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I went and installed a bunch of mods to make Kerbin look prettier, but now I'll have to wait for them to update before playing again, aw.

I also got a recording program that lets me record fullscreen without having to pay or jump through hoops, so LIVESTREAMS! Also the return of video-making for me, if I can find some decent video-editing software. Videowave just plain gave up on me and only sporadically works now, baw.

Throw Harvest Moon on the list of things I am trying to get back into. I must farm all the things. Yes.


JIMINY CHRISTMAS this photo is huge on Dreamwidth. It looks normal on Livejournal for some reason?Collapse )

I'm looking for a pair of jeans that are longer, but those are 29x32s and I don't think I'm going to have much luck there, LOLOLOL. Looks like I'm just going to have to resort to the age-old solution of SAGGING. SAGGING ERRYWHERE

I was slightly bummed by how huge the sweater was (it's a small. I have the enviable problem of being way too tiny to wear what I want to) but it sort of grew on me and now I think it looks fine. N7 SWEATER AW YISSS. The best thing is that it's big enough to hide the fibrous mass sticking out of my head, so it doesn't even look silly if I'm wearing my hair in a ponytail.

The only problem now is, since I bought that sweater, they've come out with a new women's one that is INFINITELY CUTER and I want that too...

(Watch, I'll get it and then wear one on top of the other. I am a tiny little nerd)
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Red Like Roses (Part I + II) - RWBY
17 August 2014 @ 09:50 pm
Not really looking forward to going back to class. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I like having nothing to do even if it also means I have... well, nothing to do or eat half the time. I saw someone on Tumblr make a joke about being in an abusive relationship with education and man, I can relate. Go away, college.

...Except I have this irritating breathing problem that I get the feeling is caused by me sitting down too much (and having terrible posture besides), and college would probably help with that. It's like I can never draw a full breath-- I yawn more often too, but my yawns are kind of like failed sneezes. My lungs are like "No, you have not yawned deeply enough!" It's an old problem I used to have that went away, but I can't remember exactly when it went away so I don't know for sure what's causing it T__T Hopefully it really is just me sitting around too much. It seems to be getting a little better already!

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Current Mood: refreshedrefreshed
Current Music: Red Like Roses (Part I + II) - RWBY
06 August 2014 @ 01:07 am
In the form of an Imgur album! I wanted to do an After Action Report style thing, and this is me figuring out how. So join me on my quest to save Obmund Kerman, stranded in space high above the planet Kerbin.

EDIT: UGH I can't embed imgur albums, apparently. So have the link instead!

If I post another one it'll probably be something more exciting. Also I'll have to play in a lower resolution because some of the text is hard to read in these screenshots, ahaha. But a few hiccups aside, mission accomplished!

This was actually pretty fun to make, so I might do these more often. I'll have to find a way to make them more interesting with the screenshot format. Maybe I'll take a leaf out of other people's books and write it like a fanfic except with accompanying screenshots, LOLOLOL.
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: RetroFuture Clean - Kevin Macleod
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Oh, uh, my bloodwork came back normal by the way! So that is definitely a good thing. Should probably have mentioned that.

If you follow me on Tumblr (or if you spotted my post from earlier) then you know that I've been getting my jimmies REALLY rustled by Mass Effect, and Irikah, and the comics and writing decisions in general, but I think I have reached my emotional irritation quota and hopefully there will be no more bad feels about those things. But I mean, if they had to have one character cheat on you-- exactly one character-- why did they have to make it the black guy? Really? COmE oNNNNN... And then there's the games treatment of Ashley vs. Kaidan >___> Mass Effect does a lot of things right, but it also does a lot of things wrong, and I think I'm just going to. Not romance anyone next time.

...If I can resist Garrus's hilarious ME3 dialogue. And Thane's adorable puppy eyes. I am also mad that they were originally going to make him a gay option and didn't do so. Same with Miranda. I would totally romance Miranda! I've always considered myself a non-shipper, but some of these guys are ruining me >__>

In other news, new Sailor Moon anime. Love it. I only saw a couple episodes of the 90s one when I was a kid, and I don't have an eye for animation mistakes unless it's pointed out, so quite frankly it looks absolutely gorgeous in every way to me XD Except the transformations look a little out of place, but Lexi assures me that Xaolin Chronicles is significantly worse in that regard, so I'll forgive them that.

(I did see all the silliness with Sailor Mars, though. Oops. But I was seriously legit surprised to find people had complaints with non-transformation animation. My sister always did say I have awful taste... I'll probably change my tune later, though >___>)

Kerbal Space Program added money, which I would be enjoying if I could stop waffling about everything, and also my BFF came over today to play Minecraft! I built a wall around a village and she is building us a fortress. It will be amazing.
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
26 June 2014 @ 07:34 pm
I was responding to a PM on Tumblr and got... distracted. >__________>

So instead of filling up said PM with post-worthy things I have decided to make a post! But Tumblr is a pain in the butt so I am posting it here instead.

Most of the length is images, as usual...Collapse )
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Ryoshima Coast - Okami
17 June 2014 @ 06:01 pm
So life very updateCollapse )
Current Mood: morosemorose
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I have decided that I am angry about For Ashes being a Day One DLC, because JAVIK.  It's not like with Kasumi and Zaeed in ME2 either, he actually gets interaction with the other squadmates and adds things and is comedy gold in general.

Also I want to sob and hold him ): Imagine going through ME2 except with Javik's ordeal instead of the one you got. That would have been absolute torture. I am totally willing to look past Javik's prejudices and general racism because all things considered, he's been pretty fair and reasonable about it! Like he complains about how he is SURROUNDED BY PRIMITIVES, but he takes orders and tells things like it is (or at least like he sees it, which of course could never quite be 'like it is') and it's easy to see that he was once a leader, too. It's okay Javik, Shepard is a licensed Warrior Therapist. NO BUT REALLY WHY DO I HAVE TO PAYYYYY

(sidenote I thought I wouldn't like Zaeed, but then like all squadmates I initially didn't like he SUPER GREW ON ME LIKE WHOA. Seriously, him, Jack, Miranda, Thane? JAMES? I AM SO SORRY GUYS also I did not appreciate Legion for a long time, Legion is the best. Someday I will have to bring Kaidan to ME2 so I can learn to appreciate him, too.)

.......also i am told conrad verner is in me3, conrad where are you i needs it

So basically I have done absolutely nothing fandomwise for about a year now except get a few new fandoms to get into (HANNBIAL), SORRY Someday I will continue to write fanfiction like the half decent writer I know I am. But it is not this day >>

EDIT: Having eaten, I shall now inform my audience that when I said I would enjoy any pairing as long as it was well-written, I meant it. I just didn't know I meant it as sincerely as I apparently did >__> Shepard/Nihlus/Saren is now my favorite OT3, God help me. I found a wonderful No Reapers AU fanfic about them, and now I ship it so hard. Along with every possible combination of just two of them. Someone help me.
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: (You'll Never Be Better Than) Commander Shepard - Miracle of Sound
28 May 2014 @ 05:19 pm
I am well and truly broken, guys.

Murder! Violence! Blood! Creepier cannibalism than this show has previously displayed! What more can you ask for?Collapse )
Current Mood: lonelyS O B B I N G
Current Music: Rinbu Revolution - Revolutionary Girl Utena
I am starting to hate chem lab less because the labs are not tedious anymore, but we only have one left and then the lab practical. I'm suspicious >__>; I've been having less problems than in high school (and even then it was the pretty average UGH SLEEP high school problems), but I still wish sometimes that my body would fall asleep in a timely fashion when I want it to. Whenever I flop over on top of the sheets with my day clothes and leave the lights on specifically so I don't fall asleep, I'm out in ten minutes tops. Body pls.

Kerbal Space Program is still the best thing ever and I have a mighty need to do science in all the places omg omg omg. I don't think I've talked about it here yet-- it's a silly game where you build rockets for the space program of a species called the Kerbals, and they fly them off to space (YOU fly them off to space, they sit in the cockpit but they're not much help ahaha), and you can do anything you want. There's a career mode where you have to unlock parts by doing ~SCIENCE~ and despite how silly the graphics look, you need at least a basic understanding of orbital mechanics, or you're never going to get your rockets anywhere XD; It's so much fun!

Also, landing a Kerbal on his helmet is more likely to save his life than keeping him in the cockpit-- cockpits can usually only survive impacts of up to 12 m/s, while a Kerbal landing on his head can survive up to 45 m/s XD

I keep being torn between possible romances in Mass Effect, because while I realize the point of replaying it is to do something different... Garrus. Garrus is hilarious, and his lines get better if you romance him. XD I am also incapable of being mean to people, which my sister is quick to point out. She says I'm boring ):

25 March 2014 @ 06:49 pm
In double-edged sword news, my sister was accepted to both NYU and UW-Madison, and therefore mom is trying to guilt her into going to Madison even though she wants to go to NYU because NYU's tuition is about $20K higher than the entire household's income AMERICA YOU ARE CRUSHING MY SISTER'S DREAMS WHY

Also THANKS A LOT ANNA AND ANGIE now I am thinking about Dhaos and Hannibal. It would be so awful. Hannibal is exactly the sort of human that might be able to earn Dhaos' trust, and then he would go and use that trust to make Dhaos even more unstable and alskdjalskjdlaskjd I want it but that requires either another Dhaos (I ALREADY HAVE A TON OF THINGS TO PROCRASTINATE DOING WITH ENDLESS) or for someone to suck it up and watch Hannibal (which you shouldn't do if you have a weak stomach srsly pls this is not a joke)

(no I am serious the second season you will probably hurl it's bad i had to leave nOOO)

I'm surprised at how much I like the show so far, though!  For a show with a lot of BS happening and not a whole lot of action, it's really exciting. I'm torn between wanting to watch Hannibal have the upper hand and wanting everyone to see him for who he truly is.  Also torn between kind of pitying him for his loneliness and laughing because it is his own fault

Like Hannibal, what in the seven hells were you expecting

So it's really good and folks who don't mind body horror should watch. I guess you could look away at the icky parts, but you'll probably be horribly fascinated and unable to look away once you get there >__>

Welp, my probably with cookies not rising has gone away entirely for some reason, so now my cookies are delicious and I am eating them and there is happiness in this house. COOKIES. Dad thinks I like baking but really I just like cookies. Cookies. I want cookies >>;

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
20 March 2014 @ 01:04 pm
If you can feel hunger pangs coming on, you don't need to shower first. Just trust me on this one >__>

ANGIE WROTE A THINNNGGG about Dhaos after Luceti, you should defs read it too and appreciate her lovelovezura

It has come to my attention that it may not be obvious what my meaning is when I say "I still love you." Since I am usually restricted to my phone whenever I feel the need to use this phrase, it is usually impossible for me to add emphasis to certain words without capitalizing them, which is a moot point in the case of the word 'I'. What I do not mean is:

"I love you despite your foolish mistake."

What I do mean is:

"All of your other unworthy comrades may abandon you for your foolish mistake, but I will still love you!"


My spring break is almost over and I didn't do anything BAWWWW but I don't want to go back to class BAWWWW complaining

I'll go defeat Maxwell now, I still haven't done that >__>
but that place seems a little empty right about now :D;;;

Anyway, even if you haven't seen Frozen, you've probably heard Let It Go, and deal is [personal profile] countercolette WROTE ME A LET IT GO PARODY FOR DHAOS AND IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL


Angie really knows how to make presents sob, I am going to make regular card-sending a thing and it'll still take me like a year to build up this much awesome.

Everyone please listen to it and then tell Angie she is a lovely lovely person and a quality human being okok

I was also thinking of streaming today but FRIDAY... but I have nothing to do for the rest of today, so if I get the charger that is a thing that I can do. WE COULD PLAY PHANTASIA OR WATCH FROZEN IN CELEBRATION.
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Current Mood: bouncySUCH BOUNCE
Current Music: Disney King Dhaos - Angie
11 February 2014 @ 07:04 pm
So this is for if you don't mind spoilers and don't want to be in the dark if I write sequels. LET US SYNOPSIS... Also friendly reminder that this was written literally years ago, which means I wasn't a whole lot older than twelve haha sob.